India’s Abandoned Wives Rue Broken Promises of Expat Grooms

People marry for many reasons, including one or more of the following: legal, social, emotional, economical, spiritual, and religious. These might include arranged marriages, family obligations, the legal establishment of a nuclear family unit, and the legal protection of children and public declaration of commitment. These were the sets of vows that a marrying couple usually have in mind when they marry. But it seems different to an expat groom in Canada.

“A VELVET-BOUND album of wedding photographs and two unused train tickets for her honeymoon are the only remnants of Amanjyot Kaur’s marriage.

One week after the grand wedding ceremony in a small village in the Indian state of Punjab, Kaur’s husband, who lives in Montreal, Canada, returned home, promising to send his new wife documents she needed for a visa.

 But the papers never arrived and when Kaur finally managed to get in touch with her husband he refused to recognise her. ‘I wrote 120 letters, made nearly 500 phone calls to reach him in Canada but nothing moved him,’ said 22-year-old Kaur, who has suffered chronic depression since her wedding two years ago. 

’I hate myself for loving an insensitive man. He cheated me, and my family,’ she said, gesturing to her father who had to sell four acres of farmland to meet the lavish wedding expenses. 

Kaur is just one of thousands of brides abandoned in India by expatriate Indians who return to the country for arranged marriages and then flee taking the dowry money with them. 

According to the Lok Bhalai party, a small political organisation in Punjab, over 22,000 abandoned brides have registered criminal cases against their NRI (Non-Resident Indian) grooms. The party’s founder, B Ramoowalia, calculated that in the last 10 years he has helped 1,200 deserted brides trace their husbands. ‘Marriage is the easiest way to make money for these men. They plan their exit from the country as soon as they get the dowry,’ he said.”

Read More From Divaasia.com

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Global Survey: Expat Spouse Employment

The Permits foundation has released a recent study which found that expat spouses have a strong desire to work while overseas. Furthermore, it was found that the ability for an expat spouse to get a work permit is a major factor when employees are looking to move overseas. “The survey also provides insight into partner aspirations and the positive effects of having a job. Almost 90% of partners in the survey were employed before expatriation. This figure fell to 35% during the posting. Three quarters of those who were not working want to work. This is particularly so among the younger age groups, men, graduates and unmarried partners. Most partners who work said that this had a positive impact on adjustment to the host location and willingness to complete the assignment.”

Read more from Permit Foundation

Expats Return to India

Indian expats who are returning to India from overseas are finding the transition more challenge than expected. Recently there have been programs developed to help recruit Indians back to India, including a call from the current PM to welcome all Indians who want to return. “Prime Minister Manmohan Singh personally extended an invitation “to all Indian Americans and nonresident Indians who wish to return home.” But, like Ayyadurai, many Indians who spent most of their lives in North America and Europe are finding you can’t go home again. … For many returnees the cultural ties and chance to do good which drew them back are overshadowed by workplace cultures that feel unexpectedly foreign, and can be incredibly frustrating. Sometimes returnees discover that they share more in their attitudes and perspectives with other Americans or with the British than with other Indians. Some stay just a few months, some return to the West after a few years.”

Read more from Times of India

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